For Them

Today I am thankful for these guys.

 Even more than I was last year. And yesterday. 

When Eric and I had Ali I was still a baby myself. We were 3 weeks away from our first wedding anniversary and I wasnt even old enough to drink. Yet there she was, this beautiful screaming pink bundle of heart arrhythmia. Not even two years later came a much chubbier, slightly bluer bundle of midline defects. And yet, they were perfect.

They completed us. We grew up together, in a lot of ways, especially Ali and I. I remember someone telling me once all of the tears this sweet girl would cause me. And they were right, but so far, not in the way they intended. I could not have asked for better children. I am thankful every day that I wake up that they are mine.

It has been a rough road, and there has been some mourning. Mourning the lives we expected them to have, mourning the loss of friends, passions, the loss of a normal teenage life. I was nearly in tears when Ali missed her first homecoming dance but she assured me with "eeww Mom, who goes to homecoming dances?" She is the definition of sarcasm and wit, and maturity, most of the time, beyond her years.

Dylan makes me laugh every day. He is smart and strong and secure, even when he insists he isn't. He knows who he is, and what he loves, and he never, ever compromises for anyone. He's kinda my hero.

They probably threaten to kill each other at least once a day, but truly, they would die for the other. They have a bond that they don't like to admit because, while they have nearly nothing in common, they have their health in common, and  I think it helps them to not be alone in it, even though it sucks.

These kids wake up in pain and go to bed in pain, every day. Some days they struggle to stay upright, to not pass out. Some days they dislocate joints walking down the hallway or doing homework. Some days are good days, and Ali and I get out of the house while Dylan is at school. Some days they sleep for 18 hours. It's life. And it's our life.

So even though they aren't the kids I envisioned when they were 2 and 4 and I had their lives planned out for them, they are my kids. They are amazing, loving, accepting, kind, strong kids of character. And that is what I am so thankful for. And I am so thankful they are mine.